


my head is spinning (but my heart is in the right place)

by gotsarang



Series: (and i'll be your) love song [1]
Category: Day6 (Band), GOT7
Genre: F/M, FWB!SungBum, Kim Yugyeom and Other DAY6 members are mentioned once, ballerina!jaebum, best friends!sungbum, musician!sungjin, sungjin is literally the day6 members' dad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-31
Updated: 2017-05-31
Packaged: 2018-11-07 06:06:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,204
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11052888
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gotsarang/pseuds/gotsarang
Summary: "Here I am, perfect as I'm ever gonna be.Love me for me.Stick around.I'm not the kind of girlyou wanna leave, you'll see.Love me for me."





	my head is spinning (but my heart is in the right place)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [amelioratedays](https://archiveofourown.org/users/amelioratedays/gifts).



> Love Me For Me - Ashlee Simpson
> 
>  
> 
> jaekyung is a bad good girl and sungjin is a good bad boy.
> 
> where jaekyung is a dancer with a heart as delicate as her technique and sungjin runs a tavern of sorts which serves coffee as dark as his eyes.

"I just want to see," Jaekyung's brow furrows as she holds Sungjin's lazy stare. The prospect of him watching her touch herself was humiliating as it was exhilarating. She didn't want him to watch her fall apart alone, too vulnerable under his gaze without the protection the bedsheets (and his body) afforded her.

 

"Why?" Jaekyung hates how juvenile she sounds when she says the question. Sungjin smiles enigmatically and brushes her bangs away from forehead to drop a kiss on her temple.

 

"Who wouldn't want to watch you." He murmurs in her ear, the phrase laid out as a statement, rather than a question. Sungjin's fingers dance on her skin the same way they would on guitar strings as he plays a love song, and Jaekyung finds comfort in that.

 

Because Sungjin had been her anchor in the sea of turmoil. Being the eldest back in the academy had forced her to relinquish all the perks of being a spoilt little brat to Yugyeom, in addition to being someone worth looking up to during days of thankless rehearsals and back-to-back routines that longer felt like clouds when she did her _grand jeté en l'airs_ , but more like gunshots into the air--fatal once she hit ground.

 

Here with Sungjin, she could shrug off the pretense of being the noona, being responsible and a role model; felt it hit the floor as he would peel off her clothes one by one as he would languidly kiss her senseless into his bed, loose-limbed and eager to please, during those liquor-soaked moments scattered in between infrequent visits. She could just let go and let Sungjin take care of her. It was nice to be pampered every once in a while.

 

 

If there was anyone Jaekyung trusted, it was Sungjin.

 

"Okay."

 

 

***

 

 

Sungjin hovers over her, quiet and smiling placidly at her, jean-clad knees between her legs and hands in her hair as he kisses her. Her chest is about to burst and it feels like a thousand waves crashing on her, but it feels like drowning without the struggle. Just a gentle rocking to slumber in what seems like ripple coming to rest.

 

So it just tumbles out of her mouth.

 

"I love you."

 

 

There's no shyness, no flushing cheeks apart from her earlier exertion. The confession is straightforward, arcadian and the most unromantic one he has ever experienced in his entire life. No flirtations, no melodramatic push-and-pull scenarios that are peppered liberally in the primetime novelas.

 

And it flusters him all the same. He is unsure, so he tries to hide it away.

 

"I know. Do you really?" He's afraid of losing everything but he still wants to know, his masochistic tendencies rearing its ugly head. "Why do you love me?"

 

"I love you."

 

He retracts his fingers from where they were pinning down Jaekyung's wrists and pulls up to a sit. She does the same, rubbing her wrists to get her circulation running through them. Sungjin doesn't miss the opportunity to rake his gaze over her bare legs, tight hips, the pink buds of her breasts.

 

He's angry as hell and nearly spits out his reply.

 

"I said I know. Of course, you do. I'm your best friend."

 

"I love you because you are my best friend. I love you. I'm in love with you." Sungjin takes in the tumble of midnight black hair framing her pale face.

 

He takes in the adjacent moles on her left eyelid, rain-wet, dark brew coffee eyes and broken cherry lips.

 

"I'm so in love with you that I let you take me like this; a little damaged, a little worn." Jaekyung pulls her knees closer in a futile attempt to shield her skin from Sungjin's eyes with the threadbare sheets. "Knowing that I'll never be enough, knowing that you just sleep with someone else everytime I go back to the academy."

 

Sungjin stays silent, lips pursed, seemingly in thought.

 

"It drives me insane with jealousy-"

 

_You drive me insane as well._

 

"-How many girls have you brought back here and fucked in this bed-"

 

_None, I screw them where I find them. You're the only one who has ever reached this bed._

 

"-the girls you kissed like this-"

 

_There was only one, I pretended she was you but it wasn't anything close to the real thing._

 

 

"Or the girls you said I love you to. Because you never said it to me."

 

***

 

"You are not in love with me, Jaekyung." Sungjin grasps her chin, maybe a little too roughly because tears start settling into the corners of her eyes. Or maybe it's the recoil of the sting of his words.

 

"I am. I do." Jaekyung insists, hand reaching for Sungjin's wrist. He thinks she'll try to pry his hold on her face but instead traces fingers on his pulse. Sungjin would love to believe her, _oh dear god_ , how desperately he wants to believe her.

 

 

The next thing out of his mouth delivers the killing blow.

 

 

"It's just the sex talking, Kyu."

 

 

***

 

 

The front door slams shut and the only trace of Jaekyung left is the scent of her skin on his sheets.

 

 

***

 

Why would she not be in love with Park Sungjin?

 

Sungjin of the low drawl into her skin in the dim light and flashing strobes, of slow smiles and the faint burn of whiskey on her lips when his tongue demands entrance to her, of salty skin inked with intricate curlicues and fingers calloused from years with the guitar, and of white teeth and the pale rose of his mouth despite the haze that perpetually seemed to hang about him as he chain-smoked his way through three packs of cigarettes a day.

 

 

For all his self-destructive tendencies, he was the still same guy who attended opening and closing nights with a single long-stemmed blue carnation tucked in his lapel and a tight embrace ready when he saw her, the same guy who used to work three odd jobs to put Dowoon through college, harried and hair always messy from running it through his fingers in anxiety, the same guy she witnessed giving up his nicotine addiction for a month to fund a soup kitchen at an orphanage on Wonpil's wide-eyed request.

 

 

***

 Jaekyung does not see Sungjin for months on end, but when she does it's after her recital-when her stage makeup has melted off, her toes bleeding through her tights, her hair damp with sweat and in awkward kinks from being wound up in a bun for the whole day. Sungjin is in his best suit with a bouquet of cotton bursts in his hands.

 

Which he drops to the ground as soon as he sees Jaekyung.

 

There are apologies on his tongue and guilt constricting his throat. All of that burns away when Jaekyung just simply slips her hands around his neck and presses their mouth together.

 

 

"I love you, Kyu. I'm sorry I lied" Sungjin desperately breathes in the skin of her shoulder when he finally gets to come up for air, and Jaekyung starts and looks at him, hope seeping into her posture and eyes. "I'm sorry it took so long for me to tell you."

 

"You're here now. It's more than enough."

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> for sally (i can just imagine you screaming CAPRICORN LEADER HELL)
> 
> i'm sorry, smut is all i know.160206
> 
> This is a perfect example of button-mashing at 3am
> 
> 170531
> 
> reposted


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